When we judge ourselves and each other, and when we have expectations for how we should or shouldn’t behave, we’re often forgetting one really important concept- that of human nature. Human nature is expansive and all-inclusive. It encompasses all the different and unique variations of humanity. When looking at other people’ behaviors, as well as our own, many of them leave us feeling baffled, confused, angry, sad, horrified. Human nature is all of it. Human nature is objective- everything that is in our nature to do, feel, think and be.
Everything is normal, so to speak, because everything we do as humans makes up the big picture of what human nature is. That means that all of our behaviors are “normal,” even the ones we don’t agree with. Al of our fears are normal and common, even when they are irrational. Everything you’ve ever done or experienced that made you feel embarrassed, guilty or ashamed, is normal. It’s all “normal.” Human nature includes our mental health problems and addictions.
This is very far removed from how we usually perceive things. We judge everything a person does, has, thinks, feels, is. We assess situations based on what we think we would do, hypothetically. We judge people based on how we think they should be. We view things from our narrow perspectives, not realizing that our viewpoints are limited to our personal experiences and not taking into account that human nature is much broader than that- not to mention that when we judge, we are acting from a place of fear.
When we judge others, it is often because we judge ourselves, and these other people represent something reflected in us- whether that is a behavior we can’t admit to, a fear we carry, something that triggers us, or some aspect of ourselves being mirrored back to us.
When we judge, we reject, and that means we’re potentially missing out on important information and teachable moments. We can learn something from everyone and everything, from every experience, every story. Mistakes hold lessons when we are open to them. Relationships, including the unhealthy ones, teach us so much about ourselves and each other, about life and the world. We receive all kinds of guidance and wisdom from our experiences and from other people. When we are willing to give up our expectations, assumptions and preconceived notions about how things should be, how people should be, and how things should go, we open ourselves up to learn so much that we can apply to our own healing journeys.
The community at Enlightened Solutions has helped many people with their healing and recovery, and many of us have personal firsthand experience. We understand. Call us at (833) 801-LIVE.