It may be hard for you to tell or you are living in denial that your romantic partner is a sex addict. You may think that they are simply satisfying their sexual appetite when they watch too much porn, constantly masturbating, or feel like they need to sleep with multiple people to feel fully satisfied. By knowing whether or not your partner has a sex addiction, you can better speak to your partner about getting help.
Sex is a Crucial Need
You may notice in your partner that sex is an important need for them. It could be that they request sex from you every night or at inappropriate times. You may feel uncomfortable with your partner when you feel pressured to have sex when you do not feel in the mood. You could be looking to talk to your partner after a long day of work, but your partner is more interested in immediately having sexual intercourse with you. People with a sexual addiction are always in the mood and may make you feel like a villain for refusing something that they are in real need of.
Sex Without Protection
People who have a real need for sex will not think about the serious consequences that can occur from unsafe sex. This can mean that they will not think about putting on a condom or taking birth control pills. They will immediately just want to follow their sexual impulses. Even if they run out of condoms or birth control pills, that will not be a barrier stopping them from attaining their sexual needs. The problem with not trying to be safe while having sex shows that they do not care enough about your safety or their own. A lot of people with a sexual addiction tend to sleep with many people and have a better chance of spreading STDs because they are in too much of a rush to have sex to be careful.
Sex addicts tend to lead double lives. You may think that your partner has gotten their sexual impulses under control because they have stopped pressuring you to have sex. The truth is that people who have a strong need for sex are going to do whatever it takes to acquire sex, just like when a drug addict will do whatever they can to get more drugs. Your partner could be going on online hookup sites to find anyone to have sex with without getting to know them first. They could be lying to you about where they are, what they are doing, and who they are with. They have to keep up with these lies to avoid losing any opportunity to fulfill their hyperactive sexual needs.
People with sex addiction end up hating themselves. They feel ashamed that they cannot control their sexual urges like other people can. They also feel like they have to hold their addiction inside in fear that others will hate them as well. Remember that the The National Council on Sexual Addiction Compulsivity said 18 million to 24 million are sex addicts. You are not alone in your pain and it should be shared. Having a sex addiction can cause you to lose everything such as your relationship, your job, and your finances because you are too preoccupied with doing whatever it takes to fulfill your sexual needs. It is important to know that people with a sexual addiction do not want to do the things they are doing or hurting people, but it cannot be helped if they are not in treatment.
You may think that if you and your partner have already had sex, your partner should be satisfied. The truth is that it may still not be enough if they have a sex addiction. While you go to sleep, your partner could be masterbating in the bathroom or in another room. Whenever you are not home or there is no else available for intercourse, they masturbate as they do not need to depend on anyone for that.
Always Near Technology
You may notice that your partner is always with their phone or they act on guard when you go near their computer. This can mean that they have photos, videos, or websites on their screens that they would be ashamed of you seeing. When you come into the room, your partner automatically minimizes the windows open on their screen or turn off their computer completely. You might think that they are cheating on you, when they are really just hiding the pornographic videos, pictures, and webchats used as devices to make them feel sexy.
Follow Your Instincts
You may have felt like nothing is going on with your partner until you take a real good look at them. Do not keep telling yourself that your partner is not going through anything as it will only let their addiction grow worse. Talk to your partner about what you have noticed. Do not give your partner a judgmental tone, but a concerned tone in that you want to help them. You can join them at Sex Addicts Anonymous or find a good therapist for them that specializes in this. Whether your partner is a man or a woman, seeing the signs of a sex addict will open your eyes to how serious the condition can be and showing your partner resources to a healthy sex life.
Located on the shore of Southern New Jersey, Enlightened Solutions is a recovery center using evidence-based therapies and holistic healing to treat addiction and mental illness. With the opportunity to learn about therapies that are keyed in to healing the human spirit and learning about new stress reducing techniques centered around a 12 step network, you will be ensure a lasting recovery. For more information, please call us at 833-801-LIVE as we are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.