You can’t stand being alone. At the most extreme, people who are codependent stay in harmful, abusive, toxic relationships and situations just to avoid being alone. Codependency means becoming completely dependent on other people in order to feel whole. If you have developed codependent behaviors, you have found subtle ways to make sure someone else is included in everything that happens in your life, and everything you do in your life. Recovering from codependency is challenging, but it is possible. Look for some of these signs to decide if codependency recovery is right for you.
- How you feel depends entirely on how other people feel: One of the most common traits of codependency is not being able to feel your own feelings, but base your feelings on those of others. When your friends are sad, you are sad. When your romantic partner is stressed, you are stressed. This isn’t empathy or even sympathy. You have placed the value of other people’s life experiences far above your own for so long, you cannot connect to your own life experiences anymore. When somebody asks you, “How are you?” You find it difficult to answer. Instead, you talk about how everyone else in your life is doing.
- Making decisions for yourself is hard to do: How can you trust yourself? That is a question most people with codependent tendencies ask themselves. When you become so used to relying on other people, it feels as though you cannot rely upon yourself. Autonomy is one of the many gifts of recovery, but becoming autonomous is hard to do when you find it hard to make decisions for yourself. Everyone in recovery is suggested to take suggestions in the beginning because the addicted/alcoholic mind cannot be trusted. Eventually, you have to learn to trust yourself.
- Abandonment issues feel beyond your control: Even if someone is leaving the room without telling you, you feel a certain twinge of fear and panic that they don’t like you, they’re hiding something from you, they’re leaving you, and they’re never coming back. You’re not paranoid. You’re just codependent. Most people who develop codependent behaviors have experienced some form of abandonment in their life, including neglect. Abandonment issues make themselves most evident in all forms of relationship.
The best move to make for recovery from drug abuse is the quickest move by calling and asking for help immediately. Recovery is possible and healing will take place in mind, body, and spirit. Enlightened Recovery Solutions offers a holistic based, 12-step inspired, clinically proven program for alcoholism and co-occurring disorders. Call (844) 234-LIVE today for information on our partial care programs.