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Fears of Abandonment and Inadequacy/Inferiority

Fears of Abandonment and Inadequacy/Inferiority

One common tie that binds us as humans is our susceptibility to fear. Our fears can manifest in countless different ways- as phobias and neuroses, as panic attacks and other anxiety disorders, as nightmares, insomnia and other sleeping disorders, compulsive behaviors, addictions, and so on. Exploring what we are consciously afraid of can provide clues as to what we are subconsciously afraid of, leading us to discover healing solutions.

Fear of Abandonment

When in relationships, many of us with mental health problems or addictions might find ourselves irrationally afraid of being cheated on, betrayed, lied to, rejected, replaced or otherwise hurt by our partner. We might find that our worries take over our minds, that we become paranoid and obsessed, that whether or not we have good reason, we simply cannot trust our partner. This often boils down to a fear of abandonment, something so many of us experience but might not always be conscious of. Perhaps we stay in toxic relationships to avoid being alone. Perhaps the pain of a breakup reminds us on a visceral level of the separation we experienced in our families as children. Perhaps we avoid committed relationships altogether and choose casual sex over the possibility of being abandoned.

Fear of Inadequacy/Inferiority

So many of us have an inner voice full of fear and self-doubt, anxiety and self-loathing. Once traumatized, our subconscious minds store our painful emotions and memories, creating the thought patterns that will stay with us for years to come until we work to dismantle them. Perhaps your inner critic is always telling you that you’re not good enough, that you’re inferior to other people and don’t measure up, that you’ll never be as good as them. For example, when a family is divided by divorce, separation, incarceration, violence, or death, children will often internalize these circumstances and interpret them as meaning that they are inadequate. They might develop an inadequacy/inferiority complex, where they consistently feel insecure and suffer from low self-esteem. They might find themselves consumed by jealousy, envy, bitterness and resentment towards the people they come to believe are better off than they are. These two fears are common in human nature overall, but especially common in those struggling with issues with their mental and emotional health. Over time, as we practice the self-destructive coping mechanisms that distract us from our pain, such as our addictive behaviors, we compound these fears because we give them power over us when we try to run from them rather than face them head on.

Fears can be debilitating, but Enlightened Solutions can help. Call (833) 801-LIVE.