Addiction and mental health issues bring along with them all kinds of other challenges that are connected and related- conflicts, toxic relationships, unhealthy interpersonal dynamics. Because we experience a great deal of inner turmoil, we manifest relationships and experiences that reflect that turmoil back to us and that create even more turmoil. We have all kinds of problems with the people in our lives, and we can find ourselves feeling anger on a regular basis. We hold onto resentment and bitterness. We hold grudges. We have a very hard time letting go of the ways in which people have hurt or offended us. We obsess, fixate, and replay the difficult memories even when we know that causes us more distress. We are consumed with anger.
Forgiving something doesn’t mean we condone it, and forgiving other people doesn’t mean we excuse their behavior. It means we make the choice to be at peace with what happened, rather than continuing to carry it. We often let the painful energy of anger fester within us, sometimes because it feels better to be angry than to be sad, sometimes because anger is our go-to emotional response. We might never have learned how to resolve conflict and instinctively choose anger over reconciliation. Sometimes we hold onto anger for years rather than deal with the anxiety that can come with confrontation. We choose silence, we choose to cut people off, we choose to hate them.
How much lighter and more liberated would we feel if we chose to forgive instead? Choosing forgiveness means we take the bitterness and anger that were festering inside us and replace them with peace. This process brings space to the issues at hand, and in that space we are able to find healthy detachment and release. We’re able to finally let go. We are no longer consumed and tormented by the painful weight of our anger. The constant mental replay of the conflict starts to subside.
All that energy that once went to resentment is freed up to focus on joy and healing. Whether or not we ever reconcile the situation or resolve the conflict, we are giving ourselves love and care when we choose forgiveness. We are prioritizing our inner peace. We are choosing to be happy. As our energy shifts, we manifest more of the same- more relationships and experiences that make us happy. Making the choice to forgive is one of the best things we can do for our mental and emotional wellbeing.
We all need support during the recovery process. At Enlightened Solutions, we offer therapy, mentoring, trauma healing, recovery planning, and more. Call (833) 801-LIVE.