No means no. We might mean to say no, but somehow it always turns into a yes. Learning to say no is an important part of addiction recovery. Each day we are saying no to our very impulses and brain chemistry asking us to go back out and drink or use.
Start Small And Work Your Way Up
Empowerment isn’t always comfortable and neither are boundaries. When we are raised in a home without healthy boundaries, we grow up without understanding what they are or how to set them. Learning how to say no and set boundaries can feel awkward at first because of this. Before you start saying no in big situations, try starting off small. You might be surprised to discover the amount of times per day you are given the opportunity to say no.
Learn More About “No” As You Go (And Grow)
Boundaries, or the lack thereof, are not the only reason we have a hard time saying no. How We think and feel about rejecting what we don’t want, don’t need, or can’t do, has been molded over time. Part of the empowerment process is learning about ourselves and what makes us who we are. Investigate how you've been shown “no”throughout your life. You might discover some of the insightful information which helps you release your past attachments and make more no decisions in the future.
Stop Apologizing For Saying No
Part of the framing we have around no often has to do with guilt. We might have been shown that it is wrong or bad to say no to people. In the past, we might have been shamed or even abused, for saying “no” to something. As a result, we experience pains of guilt and remorse when we simply say no. Overtime we learn not to apologize for standing up for ourselves, setting boundaries, and setting healthy limitations on what we are capable of committing to at any point in time.
Make Your No’s Clear And Concise
When we are learning to be empowered and still feel uncomfortable with saying no, we might try to find ways around just saying no. Being unclear in our assertions removes the assertiveness of our statements. It is unfair to ourselves and to the people we are communicating with notto be honest, concise, and clear about the limitation weare setting. No means no, and that’s okay.
Enlightened Solutions seeks to empower men and women to live their best possible lives in recovery, free from the damaging effects of drugs and alcohol. For more information on our dual diagnosis residential treatment programs, call 844-234-LIVE.